Voices from the Sky

Once again I have upset both of my regular readers by abandoning them for weeks… or in this case almost 2 months. So this will be more of an update than the usual exciting posts (y’know, the ones that have you running for the telephone to share my wisdom with your friends and relatives).

Life has slowed right down here since my summer work dried up, and Amki has returned to University, so our roles have now reversed again for the time being.

Of course, life is never without its little shocks and surprises… We feared dying in a plane crash on the way back from England a couple of weeks ago, as the pilot missed the runway TWICE in thick, low cloud, before eventually deciding that it would be best for our friends and families, the airline, the terrified motorists we almost landed on, and all the poor trembling and bewildered wildlife, clinging desperately to the trees that we almost snapped the tops off, if we simply landed at another airport.

A couple of days after arriving back home in Sweden, and less than 12 hours after signing up on an extras/acting website, I was called and asked if I would like to be in a new Volkswagen commercial. I agreed. Amki came with me to watch but was then also offered a part in the commercial, and so we spent a day in the freezing cold centre of Stockholm, trying to look pleasantly surprised while a Volkswagen (or an assistant director, waving his arms around and pretending to be a Volkswagen), drove past. Despite the bitter cold, lunch was supplied and we were both paid for the day.

I am still trying to work out what skills I posses that people would be willing to pay for, and am sorry to say I’m coming up short. I’m sure that will have come as a shock to most of you, so I’ll give you a second to come to terms with it. Sit down (in the highly unlikely event that you were not already doing so), make yourself a warm drink, grab a paper bag if you’re worried about hyperventilating or vomiting, and just return to these pages when you feel strong enough to continue…

…are you ok? Shall we go on?

Now, there are actually a few things that I can do, and several possibilities I am looking at but don’t want to talk too much about until I know whether or not they are viable, but I am also still trying to figure out a way to retrieve all the files from the computer (may it rest in peace), that selfishly and stupidly, and without a moments warning (bless its poor little circuits), blew up… leaving me with nothing but a pile of scrap metal (I shall miss it) and the smirking glances of “sensible” people, who warned me to buy a hard-drive on which to back up my files in case of disaster. To all those people I say: Nobody likes a smartarse!

Video-making will more than likely not resume until I figure out a way to do that, but once I do you will be the first (or possibly about the 11th) to know.

I am also ashamed (or proud, depending on who’s reading this) to say that I have returned to the world of video-gaming for the first time in over 2 years, and was unprepared for just how much I had missed it. Skyrim is almost everything I hoped it would be… AND I am overjoyed (like… literally, I had trouble calming down for a day or so) to say that, finally, thanks to a Kickstarter campaign, and a lot of enthusiasm (not to mention money) from the general public, a game I have waited almost 30 years for is due to hit the shelves in 2014. Elite: Dangerous is the sequel to the highly successful Elite franchise that started in the early 1980s, and completely captured my imagination as a young boy (and then later as an adult). You can check out the progress of the new game here.

This recent bout of leisure though, has led me to the conclusion that there is a lot of work out there in the world of video-gaming. Particularly in that of RPGs. Skyrim, for example, has  hundreds of books and little notes throughout its sprawling fantasy world, as well as dialogue and general storylines; all of which have to be written by someone. Not to mention the voice-acting.

Now, if you don’t play video-games often, take my word for it; some of the voice-acting is absolutely terrible. In Skyrim for example, there is a mage in a place called Dragonsreach who is voiced by the single worst actor I have ever heard in my life. I’m not kidding… this guy makes bit-part actors in 1960s “Doctor Who” episodes look like Laurence Olivier, and someone PAID him to do THIS (watch from 0:26 for full, gut-wrenching effect):

I don’t know whose sensitive areas this chap so delicately tickled to get this job, but if he isn’t the perfect 6ft 5inch specimen of a chiselled god , with the sexual prowess of a Stepford Husband, programmed by Eros himself… then I want to know who is making the decisions over at Bethesda!!

I’m serious now; video-gaming is becoming a real threat to the world of cinema. Some of the stories in games these days are really well written. And try to bear in mind that you spend maybe 2 hours watching a movie. Video-games create the potential for attachment to the central character/characters which goes far beyond that you could ever hope to get from a movie or TV character… and yet at this stage it still seems to attract the sort of actors that would be out of their depth in a school pantomime. These games are getting more and more immersive, but you can still be pulled right out of the game when a guy says “Off to Bleak Falls Barrow with you…” as though he’s reading the ingredients off a cereal packet, whilst trying to cook a three-course meal, having just stubbed his toe!

How do I get into this line of work? Reading character dialogue… writing those unimportant “journal entries” which you find all over games like these… Helping to write the story-lines for the latest immersive RPG??? If anyone has any idea, please let me know.

Some of the more observant readers will have noticed that the blog has a new look. Sleepless Knight has a new identity, in preparation for becoming an actual business at some point, and our new mascot can be seen at the top of the page. He can only be seen in silhouetted profile at the moment, but if I ever manage to render him in 3D I will post better images for him here. He needs a name, so if you can think of a good one LEAVE A COMMENT.

Now, since I seem to have wandered from mildly amusing to “bring back the cereal packet guy!”, I will leave you with this thought: ……

Did you get it? Or do I have to go back and reprogram this fucking telepathic broadcasting device yet again?

Oh well. Don’t bend over for the soap… but for crying out loud use some before I return! Who knows how long that might be.