The Final Countdown – Zero

Well… that’s it. I’m leavin on a jet plane, and all that other Jonny Denver type stuff. As they say where I come from: “It’s all over bar the shoutin'” Of course, in this particular case, “the shoutin” involves packing my few remaining possessions; dragging 50kg of luggage (each) in 3 seperate cases (each), through the deep snow to the subway station; catching a train, then a bus, then a plane; being picked up from the airport, and living under someone else’s roof for the next week or so until my wife and I find somewhere to live. So if we’re gonna stick with the fighting analogies, I haven’t even spilled the other bloke’s drink yet. But it’s all over as far as the blog posts about my moving are concerned. I am writing this post on Monday the 26th, and it is scheduled for release at the exact minute we are due to land in the UK. Plane landing by sunrise So… once again, you must endure the anguish of my absence. At least for a little while. What will I be blogging about when I return? Your guess is as good as mine. Well… I suppose I could make a slightly more educated guess than you guys and say that it’s likely to be about my new house, and my new job (back to being self-employed now). I do have one or two things in the pipeline to keep you occupied until next we meet, and they have been a very long time coming. So, I will see you again soon. If you don’t believe me… take a look at this video. And the next time someone hears me say “Hmmm… I think I’ll kill myself off in this weeks video. I just want to try out this new effect!” STOP ME and say: “Jimbot… don’t do it. The storyteller in you is a perfectionist monster, and you know where this will lead.” Normally I sign off by saying goodbye, but on this occasion I will just say those 3 little words I have been desperately waiting to say for almost 3 years: I’m back baby!!

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Ideas above my station? Maybe.

So, I’m finally here. I’m three days late, but I’m happy to tell you that procrastination (at least on this occasion) was not the culprit… Lack of focus was.

Having posted queries to several literary agents on Monday morning; for round one of “Dear Mr Moors, your manuscript sucks.” I thought it would be a good idea to set up a blog, find a web host, build a website, record, edit and upload a Vlog, Learn to animate, and become fluent in CGI… all by the end of the day.

When I realised that “World dominion by Tuesday morning” was probably an unrealistic target, I decided to break the process into smaller steps, beginning with recording the Vlog and uploading it. So, on Monday afternoon I recorded the first video for YouTube in 2 years. It promised all sorts of wonderful things (which was precisely the point, of course) within the next 12-24 months, and I was ready to upload it when I made the mistake of watching it… Oh dear.

What I needed was some sort of magical instruction; a rule book of what needed to be said; some sort of… what’s the word? SCRIPT!

On Tuesday morning I began again, and it worked well! Time to upload it. Oh, wait, it needs editing. No problem. I’ll just… Oh… Windows LIVE moviemaker is shit! Whatever happened to good old movie-maker? Never mind, I’ll simply download a free trial of Adobe Premiere and deal with the whole “finding a more permanent solution” business, sometime before the 60 day trial runs out… Right? WRONG! Adobe no longer allow you to export edited video with trial software.

Anyway… after another day of this I decided to set up the blog first (not least because I then realised I had mentioned it in the Vlog, so it would be nice if it were actually there, when people clicked the link). Time to start configuring WordPress… POWER CUT… 3 Hours.

When it comes to taking over the universe, you really can’t phone it in.

So, since I failed to begin this blog after mailing the queries, I figured I would begin it when the first rejection arrived. That happened this morning…

And, here we are. The first rejection was from Peters, Fraser and Dunlop.

…IT BEGINS.