“A Beautiful Mess”
-From writings to recordings-
14 years apart and living in different countries. Amki referred to their relationship as “A Beautiful Mess” after a song by Jason Mraz.
The first recording that James sent to Amki, became the pattern for a new stage in their relationship. Night after night, James would walk beneath the stars in the autumn air of Lincoln, ignoring strange looks from passers-by, as he spilled out his feelings into a microphone. Night after night Amki would listen, and record a response.
J. Farnsworth (whose flat James was staying in), became used to the late-night excursions, and showed James how to send increasingly huge audio files over the internet.
Occasionally, Amki’s recordings would be interrupted when her flat-mate, Tilda, came home. Amki had no idea how she would explain why she was talking into a microphone, in English, late at night. How, after all, would it look to her friends and family if she told them that shortly after returning from 3 years in Canada, she had developed a relationship with a 37 year old Englishman she had met on the internet?
It seemed to Amki like an impossible relationship. They had no idea if they were ever going to meet, or whether they were both simply looking for something to fill the hole left by their previous relationships.
Worried that their fragile relationship might end without her and James ever getting to meet, or worse; that she would leave her life and education behind her, again, and move to England to be with him, Amki made one last recording; explaining that it had all been a bit of a mistake, and she just wanted friendship. It was a lie, but she figured it was the safest course of action for both of them…