Non-Stick Glue

I was once asked, in response to my announced intention to do a parachute jump, “Are you sure that’s wise?” Now, perhaps I was a little more condescending in my response than the situation warranted, but it seems to me that wisdom has very little to do with leaving the relative safety of a perfectly serviceable aircraft while it is still 3,500ft from the ground; with nothing to slow your extremely rapid descent but a large piece of nylon, held up with lots of string. In fact… I would go so far as to say that parachuting from a plane which is neither on fire, nor full of extremely venomous and extremely pissed off cobras is actually a little extravagant.

If wisdom is really your primary concern, you might not want to board a plane at all, because man was not meant to fly, right? In fact, why we ever emerged from our caves in the first place is beyond me…

“What’s that you’ve created there, Ugg? Fire, you say? Seems like pretty dangerous stuff to me. Perhaps you ought to just put the sticks down and come on a hunt. We’re going to climb a tree and try killing a Saber-toothed Tiger with harsh language so we don’t get hurt. You like your Tiger steak rare… right?”

Ok… so it seems like I’m being a little melodramatic. For a more eloquent look at this sort of thing, see this post. The point I’m trying to make is that wisdom has very little to do with human affairs, and the most unwise and foolhardy of human endeavours has to be love.

Earlier this week I was the victim of well-meaning people; analysing my love life as “unwise”, “irrational” and “illogical”.

Of course it f***ing well is! Rationality… Logic… Common Sense… These things have no place in the same sentence as love. Think about this for a moment; if humans were rational beings they wouldn’t love at all. We probably wouldn’t paint either… or sculpt, or write songs. I mean, what’s the point?

Pardon me for climbing atop my extremely long-legged horse, but we’re talking about love here. Trying to measure it with logic and rationality is tantamount to saying: “Teabags? Yes… Brilliant idea! Bit porous though, aren’t they? Wouldn’t they be better if they were… I dunno… water-resistant?” Sure! Of course they would… if you want a sweet-smelling pebble at the bottom of your cup of very hot, uninteresting water; or more likely on the top, since they would almost certainly float. Yes… I think what you’re after there is a pair of scented f***ing water-wings! I just want a cup of f***ing tea!

I recently tried to talk sense into a very dear friend of mine, regarding his love life. Did he listen? No… of course he didn’t; he’s in love. If you want logic with your love, better stick to phallic machinery. Love is not rational. If you can be talked out of it, trust me, you didn’t have it in the first place. Heartbreak is part of the game. To paraphrase a certain science-fiction character: “If you can’t handle a little bloody nose then maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed… by yourself! It’s not safe out there! It’s wondrous; with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross… but it’s not for the timid!” We’d all like to be more sensible about those we love, but when was the last time you listened to reason when you felt that way?

Taking all the irrational behaviour out of love is like taking all the water out of your pool: Sure you won’t get wet, but you’re likely to find swimming in it an empty and unsatisfactory experience.

So endeth the lesson.

Don't listen to him, Brian! As long as you don't expect much response in bed, you'll be fine.

There will be far more posts than usual this week for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I will be nominating several bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award, and secondly because there will be a guest blog post on Thursday, from Sleepless Knight’s very own, Kitty.

See you then.

Lots of love,

Sleepless Knight.


10 comments on “Non-Stick Glue

    • Thanks Heather; It’s been a while since I did a cartoon, I thought it was time.

      Thanks very much for the nomination by the way. Can I nominate you in return? I don’t really know the rules, but you have always been one of my favourites so it would make sense.


  1. Thought provoking in the best of ways, and with a whole heap full of random to boot. Where did you come up with the tea bags argument. It seems nonsensical but also puts your point across as succinctly as can be expected from a blogger.
    Keep it up and I’ll keep coming back.

    PS. looking forward to Kitty’s two-cents.


  2. I agree with most of what you say here. I do find that people attempt to rationalise love more and more often these days. Some people even believe themselves incapable of love *snort*.

    I’m just worried that, being in the age where we pick everything apart to the last syllable and don’t let anything lie until we’re content we’ve thoroughly destroyed it and can now “explain” why it works the way it does, science will soon turn back to love, that is already dismissed by some “rational” people as a bunch of hormones going off in your system.

    I do not know what to think, nor what to believe, but I’d like to think we’re just a teensy bit more than robots composed of organic matter, wired to respond a certain way to the great things in life.


    • Thanks for that, Honey… cautious as ever. Who says you over-analyse everything? Not me… no sir! I wasn’t using “rational” as a derogatory expression, incidentally. The whole business just got me thinking how everyone is full of rational, logical advice when it comes to the love-lives of others; but do they ever apply that same rationality to their own feelings in such matters? Not unless they are stone-cold machines they don’t. I’d be very interested to hear which bits you did not agree with.

      And don’t panic… No-one at your end reads this terrible blog. Yours is much more interesting. Speaking of which; that latest blog post of yours is superb! Yet again you left me feeling like a comedy sidekick; gaping in awe at your seemingly limitless talent. I could never write like that in my own language, let alone a second one. You should be very, very proud of yourself. I’m certainly proud of you.

      Time to break out another of those stars, I think. 😉


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