Close Contact with Armadillos

Since I am one of those bloggers whose audience consists largely of people who have been encouraged to read it because they owe me a favour, I considered asking this question on the Sleepless Knight YT channel, until the following things occurred to me:

  1. My YouTube audience consists largely of people who have been encouraged to watch it because they owe me a favour.
  2. A rapt audience is not a requirement for asking rhetorical questions.

So, to hell with it… Is the internet the worst thing that ever happened to human development?

I’m not going to tell you what I think, and I suppose if you’re reading this I really don’t have to ask what you think either. Still, I did say it was a rhetorical question so I guess I’m off the hook there.

What really struck me about this absurd statement, was that I read it in a YouTube comment. Now you’re going to say to me: “Well it was obviously a joke, Jimbo.” Mmmm… that’s what we all thought at first. But no; as people responded (I kept my hands in my pockets, obviously) it became very clear
that this person was not only very serious, but genuinely did not seem to see the contradiction. They must also have met some very unpleasant matriarchal figures, if their comments about some of our mothers were any indication of their background.

This person went on to assert that “People have access to too much information these days.” Really? Do you work for the CIA? Are you typing frantically with your nose as the nurse taps on the window with a syringe; waiting for security to break down the door. Or do you just live in Texas? Seriously; what information can you possibly be referring to? Justin Beiber’s favourite colour perhaps? The precise temperature at which Johnny Depp prefers to eat his Asparagus? I mean sure, there is a proliferation of porn out there, but that has always been available to anyone with money in their pocket and the means to reach the top shelf. Unless you are speaking on behalf of some organization, dedicated to protecting the purity of penniless midgets, I think you might be kidding yourself there… Alright, alright, you’re talking about the children. Look, if you’re trying to prevent kids from discovering porn, don’t keep your stash in a box under the bed in the spare room. It should’ve been perfectly obvious that was where Han and Chewie were going to hide from Boba Fett and his legion of rogue Stormtroopers.

Er… anyway… this “too much information” business, is what really gets under my skin. Nonsense. Why just last week I learned that the archives of Harvard Business School contain, amongst other things, a 1940s board-game entitled: Blondie goes to Leisureland, and a tortilla from 1897. And, that
it is possible to contract Leprosy from Armadillos. I can’t imagine where I would possibly have learned such a valuable piece of information before the advent of the internet. That might save my life one day (not the board game thing, obviously… that’s just silly).

As anyone who reads this blog ought to know by now, I am not only a blogger but a YouTube filmmaker, a social network user, a film fan, and an unabashed geek, so it should go without saying that the internet is a huge part of my daily life, and I cannot abide the kind of people who make these
ridiculous statements. I discovered a blog by a fellow YouTuber the other day, upon which a reader had commented that the blogger’s YouTube films were too silly for a real film producer. Not only has this commenter not been paying attention to Hollywood over the years (Spielberg’s CV contains “1941”, as well as “Schindler’s List” y’know), but he also completely failed to see the point of making films for YouTube: It’s fun, and it gives creative people access to an audience they could never have reached 10 years ago.

“The world isn’t what it used to be!” No… neither is nostalgia. If these people can’t start to open their minds to new ideas, perhaps they should confine themselves to the company of equally closed-off individuals… I suggest, Armadillos.

Trying to learn how bats navigate are we? Not on my watch. Now clear off, before I give you leprosy!.

Goodbye.

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5 comments on “Close Contact with Armadillos

    • Erm… thanks… dude. Since it’s you, I’ll let that slide. Also, I don’t know what it means… and I don’t think you do either.

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  1. I would be handicapped without the internet today. There are so many times every day when I go “hmmm, I wonder what the answer to that is” and go look it up on wikipedia or google it. I spend more time than I should on the internet just randomly browsing around but sometimes you find something interesting or fascinating or something so funny it just brightens your day 🙂 Wanted to share a blog with you, I just started reading her things but it’s just… I just love her sense of humour, if you will 🙂 Check it out if you have the time and let me know what you think! (internet attack!) http://www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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    • Yes, I know what a Gas Giant is. I just had no idea what he meant by that. I suspect he meant that I talk too much, but he has only himself to blame for spending so much time in my company.
      I would punish him for his insolence but I’ve already tied him up in the back of a van and shot him with a tranquiliser dart. I don’t know what else I can do.
      Incidentally… that last post of yours doesn’t seem like the kind of post that just pops into your head for no reason. Are you OK?

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