So… I’m in B&Q, and I begin to notice, as I wander aimlessly around the garden section, clutching the two items I had picked up for this week’s YouTube video, that people are giving me some peculiar looks. Thinking nothing of it, I make my way toward the checkout and am about to give a stern glare to the nosey, elderly couple behind me in the queue, when the girl at the till says “next”, and I plonk a 6 metre length of rope and a roll of Duct Tape on the counter.
“Ah!” says I, “Yes… OK, that looks bad!”
We all had a jolly good laugh about it, once I explained that it was not for a kidnapping or anything, but for tying myself up.
Looking back at it, theirs may have been nervous laughter. At any rate, their suspicious looks were as nought, compared with the looks I got out in the car park, when I threw the rope and duct tape through the open doors of a white transit van with a video camera and tripod set up in the back.
Say what you like about the film and video industry; it’s anything but dull.
Now… about that blog title:
It is not a statement about how the world is a better place, or any such bollocks. I meant to say that THIS BLOG WILL NOT BE DEDICATED TO THE RISE AND FALL OF OBAMA! (Sorry… OSAMA!) …or to the Royal Wedding.
I was going to come up with some sort of bad Bin Laden/Royal Wedding… thing, but it’s all been said hasn’t it? And by much funnier people than myself.
Whilst on the subject of escape and capture though (that’s Osama again… not the wedding); you might want to check out our latest YouTube videos. The little saga we have going at the moment was a completely accidental result of having no Richard, and very little time over the last 6 weeks to make anything else. But necessity is the mother of invention, so the saying goes, and several people have commented that they liked it better than anything we’ve done so far, so we’ll try to end it next week with a little bit of style.
No more news on the much anticipated debut novel of James… somebody-or-other. So, if the last rejection from round one hasn’t reached me by the time we’ve finished straightening out the new house, I’ll start round two anyway.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with another pearl of wisdom from the ever-expanding injury archives of JIMBO: CLUTTERFUCK of DOOM!
THIS WEEK’S TIP: If you are going to allow yourself to be tied up in the back of a van, on a rather chilly night, by people who do not always have your best interests at heart… Do NOT buy SISAL ROPE! It hurts!